I Meant, What If

Saturday, January 20, 2007

And tonight girl

It's only You &Me

I'm back as a new person :D I cut my hair, &i've sorted things out w myself [:

Rebecca said i looked like a guy after the cut so, yeah lol. But i thought it was kinda cool ! Sometimes it's cool to look like a guy :D

So i thought of not going back to band anymore, i don't even give a fuck to the demerit system. But i guess that's not gonna help. I'm not gonna give up just because of one dumb insignificant person that's just a passing cloud in my life :D So if i don't go, he/she will laugh &gossip about me &for all i know, he/she will think that i am scared of him/her. Plus he/she would be happy that my attendance will be lower than 60% THEN whut he/she said will come true then i will get a warning letter like he/she wishes. So not only am I going, i will be happy like hell everytime i go. I'm not gonna get all emo anymore, I'm Tarzan so i'm strong ! [:

I'm even till the state of letting go again alrd. When i go for band my mind will just stop processing. I'm gonna shut up/say useless things that've no help at all during meetings cos i'm totally on the mindset that i've no say at all. Like, duh. I'm just a piece of insignificant dust so yeah. I hope things can fly back to 2years back. I enjoyed that Syf with the correct amount of stress, with happy happy faces all around me, encouraging like don't know whut, accepting comments and not only finding other's fault. I'm not saying people ard me now are all like that, but then still, yeah. But no matter whut, i was only a sec2 last time so that's all i can expect.

Anyway whut hit me the most was right after Wednesday, on Thursday, the chinese teacher gave me some piece of compre to do. &guess whut the topic was on ? Humiliation for fuck's sake. My scanner's abit weird so i'm not scanning the piece of shit in.

So the writing went smthg like: Humiliation refers to the situation where one's reputation, personality or status is being ruined. It hurts other's pride. When one is living in humiliation, it is the worst. In real life, some people LOVE to use ways to humiliate others, because of, one, to DESTRESS USING OTHERS, &two, to HURT OTHERS MENTALLY. I read the first paragraph which is equal to these so i was telling Jan how much i agree on it &then she was like omg totally the same. Then the second para went: Olden days, people used to emphasise the importance of letting go and endure &control your anger, thinking that when you are humiliated, you should control then you can achieve success. But, to control and let go for a few times is obviously okay. BUT to let go for your whole life will be impossible. Letting go will not solve all your problems. If you try to let go/control/endure for everything, people will take you as a weakling. I'm so totally agree-ing w the passage. Please, we all ve our pride &problems, not only you. You think you're the only one stress we're not man ! We're so not concerning abt our results &we don't care about the band &we don't care about SYF man ! Yeah Right.

So, in these passage, there's also this sentence, wei le zun yan er ba sheng shi zhi zhi du wai (For your own pride you don't give a damn about any other things). I think some people might understand [: Thus i felt very insulted &i could not finish the passage everytime i read it.

But the passage also mentioned good stuff in the end ! It said smthg like, yi ge ren neng ba xiu ru hua wei dong li, wan qiang di zhan qi lai, jiu neng huo de you zun yan, qu de zui hou de sheng li! (If one can change the humiliation into motivation &stand out from it, we can live with our pride and attain the final success!) !!! Omg MengJit ! Read it i know we can't read till the last part without getting pissed so now i read it meaningfully so omg we'll succeed in time to come ! :D

I know i rock i can enlighten alot of people [: Anway thanks to all those who tried to make me happy yesterday &sry to everybody for that attitude, maybe my period's coming z lol. Maybe i'm the one still bearing a grudge or maybe everybody's just putting on an act i don't care anymore. I've my stand &i'll stick to it :D:D:D:D:D

I feel like piercing my tongue, ears, lips, nose, &everywhere that i can pierce cos i don't think i can feel pain anymore. Until anyone get me out of this. Too bad my tongue's too short it's not gonna work. Okay lol enough of the emo-ness, i feel funny lol. I've tests almost everyday nx wk &i'm not studying, i might even be going to dxo later, i don't know why all of a sudden.

On the happy side look @Germaine's blog ! Hahah okay i wrote that but you don't need to publicise right ! Hahah ohmygodzilla.

:D, Bye

8:30 PM